


Leavetaking

by YumeArashi



Category: Fushigi Yuugi
Genre: Ghosts, M/M, POV First Person, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:51:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/pseuds/YumeArashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hikitsu reflects on the end of his long duty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leavetaking

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers up to episode 34

As she takes the necklace from its place, I can feel the weight of centuries-long duty lift from my soul.  I look at Tomite and he grins, that same devil-may-care grin that even the long years could not take away from him.  His laughter has always been the light in our darkness.

Their Miko is talking animatedly about how they’ve finally succeeded.  I hate to be the one to break it to her, so selfishly I let Tomite tell her that their quest is unfinished. 

Their faces look so devastated.  They must not yet understand that overcoming impossible odds is part of being a seishi.  I think back to some of the times we shared, some of the heartbreaking near-misses and unlikely successes, made sweeter by the odds against us.  But then, we didn’t realize at the time, either, did we?  Hindsight is always clearer.

I look at Tomite and I can see that he’s thinking the same; his smile is bittersweet now, watching the Suzaku debate amongst themselves.  They’re very like us, in many ways, and the pain of memory is bitter indeed.  Watching them, I can see the ghosts of my long-vanished friends.

Miraculously, we were the only Genbu seishi to fall before our time.  I can still remember our last moments as clearly as the ice that has always been a part of my life.  Barely had the preparations for the summoning been made when the enemy attacked.  The rise and fall of Takiko’s chant blended with screams of pain and the clash of blades.  The ritual was completed mere seconds before the door burst open, flooding the room with soldiers.  Takiko was swift in her wishing, but not swift enough for Tomite and I.

Tomite’s body was sent home to his family.  I had no kin, having been cast out for the ‘evil eye’ when I was small, so I was laid to rest with the emperors and heroes of Hokkan.  I suppose I should feel honored.

The others didn’t know about us, when they created this place.  I remember bidding farewell to them, and to the sun, as they set the final seals in place.  It was the only time I’ve ever seen Tomite cry. 

I’d have held him then, but we are as incorporeal to each other as we are to the rest of the world.  Though I was never a very social person, I find I miss the comfort of an occasional embrace, the feel of a warm hand on a shoulder, even a simple touch of hands.

It’s strange, the things people take for granted.

So many long years, chill and lightless, with no more to break the monotony than the occasional intruder.  Though I feel guilty being grateful for something so hard on Tomite,  I thank Genbu that he’s been with me.  I think I would have been completely insane by now, without him here.  As it was, we both went a little crazy sometimes.  The cold and darkness of this place bled into our souls until insanity seemed a mercy. 

The miko and her seishi turn to leave now, and we close the doors again -- forever, this time.  I wonder idly if the legends of Mt. Black’s treasure will persist once we’ve gone.

I’m surprised to see tears on Tomite’s face, but not as surprised as I am to feel them on my own.  He’s smiling too, and though his smiles have a thousand meanings, now I see joy, shining like the sun I barely remember.

Destiny has finished with us, and we can go home.  Alone now, we move towards each other, and for the first time in more than two hundred years, I feel strong, warm arms wrap around me.  I smile and return the favor, reveling in his warmth.

I’ve been so cold for so long.


End file.
